Those terrible misunderstanding education you know?Updated: October 20, 2015 Views: 20
In this world, there is one of the biggest place we call home, in this world, there is a minimum of place, we also call it home. Home is the cradle of our lives, the first school of life, the first life a stage.
Think of home, we think of the bright lights of the night. There are home alone warm light, there is light there is hope of the home, there is light, there is hope and dreams of home.
Today, the family education is facing a variety of problems in family education, parents often feel tired, the children caught in desperate pain from time to time. What is it that we have introduced such a predicament? Why lamp remains lit our house, we light of wisdom, but went out of Family Education?
A slogan, so that parents lose at the starting line
Since the business community to create a slogan:. 'The customer is God,' since China's education industry, the field of education has led to a popular slogan - 'Do not let children lose at the starting line' as if overnight, this cross slogan. the wind spread in mainland China, but also to countless parents to blow in disarray.
In this slogan guided many families harvested not pleasure, but pain and anxiety.
Guangzhou has a very young mother, began to shed tears to see me. She said that each expert to Guangzhou speech, she personally come to lectures, the experts of various recipe she used, the market for all popular education Books, she bought together with her daughter to come home to see. Also, in order to be able to receive the best education her daughter, to make her not lose at the starting line, she chose the Guangzhou Children's Palace, a special place, where bought a house, bought a set of the most expensive and the worst house pattern, only one purpose, it is hoped that her daughter has the best education, her daughter does not want to lose at the starting line. However, when she walked into the high school daughter, She found her daughter let her down. Starting from the age of three daughters, she would send her daughter's Palace, learn painting, learn English, learn music, learn dance, almost popular early childhood programs, all of the school have to learn, but why on ? a junior high school, her daughter all subjects poor, so that she was particularly disappointed that it did not understand her, she felt wronged, she said: I paid so much effort, but my children did not grow Why I want to look like?
Such confusion, such as pain, whether from the media or in daily life, everywhere you can hear and see. Like mom everywhere, parents pay a maximum of time and money, why children grow up like their parents did not have the desired it?
In Jinan, three young mother, after listening to my class, went to Taiwan to come to me: '! Our mother is a failure,' I was shocked when a mother under what circumstances, it failed to confirm their ? I asked them: 'how you failed?'
The first mother said: 'My children do not pay attention in class.' The second mother said: 'My children will one day from school.' The third mother said:. 'I'm not good enough grades children'
They looked at the young face, I think they must be very small children so I asked them:. '? How much of your child,' they said: 'just entered primary school first grade.'
A year-old child, has just entered the school and started learning a new life, why not do a question, did not pay attention in class attendance, test scores are not ideal, it was confirmed that fail? And this failure is not only belongs to the child, and belonging to the mother?
Obviously, they do not understand their children in early childhood would not carefully observed the child's self-learning characteristics, so the primary school, encountered a small problem a little insecure, guard. This is the 'Do not let children lose at the starting line, 'the slogan of parents bring' consequences. '
Many of our parents precisely because it is afraid of 'losing', so I especially nervous, because he was nervous, the brain Bengzhuo chord on the day, the focus and the focus kept thinking eyes fall on children, keep looking for the child various body could lead to 'lose' the weaknesses and shortcomings. And because of fear and high tension, our judgment and thinking nerve easily go awry even blind obedience, and thus to cast a shadow over the wisdom of our education, so that family education Even the blind into the dark area.
Because we were scared, afraid of losing at the starting line, so we highly nervous and sensitive, our hearts will be shadows and blind, just like after a power outage at home, the kind of fear of unknown direction.
Why make us fear the dark? Because we so clearly see in the dark, could not see the others. I do not know where you are, what will happen, so there is little sound around, we would panic the darkness swept any a shadow, we would restless. That brings us to fear the dark, this is the panic caused by a series of consequences.
Young mother, because the hearts filled with too much fear, so their imagination and judgment errors often occur. They want their children to have good results every day, I hope every child performance are excellent. But impossible because growing children will appear this kind of problem, the child is growing up in the wrong, as children always learn to fall in crawling, learn to walk the same. a lively child, his mind constantly and burst out a variety of whimsy, coordination of mind and body requires a variety of training to complete, not every adult behavior meets the criteria. just because they do not meet our standards, disappointed, to conclude for the failure, which is really frightened.
'Do not let children lose at the starting line' on this short ten words, let our family education has been shrouded in the shadow of fear, anxiety.
In Xi'an, there is a gray-haired mother let me give her son a phone call, saying that only takes one minute, I asked her:. '? You want me to say to your son,' the mother said: 'You Tell him, we listen to your lectures, I and his dad are aware we have a problem in education. We do not good enough, we have hurt him, and I want to correct from now on, please tell my son . 'The sincere face of my mother, I said:' So important, why do not you personally for your son to say it, 'the mother sighed:'? Oh, a sign hung on the door of my son that says the words 'No Admittance', has been a full three years hung. '
We can imagine under one roof, as in a family, when our children hang a sign on the door that read 'No Admittance', they are rejecting parental care, refusal of parents Love Parents forced to stand at the door, really so far away ah! Such family life, such as education, how can we not pain?
Children do well because of fear, because fear of failure each exam, we kept nagging the child, the child's shortcomings repeatedly grabbing hold. We believe that as long as the child's problems every day that can change the outcome, the children tired of hearing , tired of hearing, hear fear, not only the ear closed, the door closed.
Thus, family education this lamp of wisdom lights went out, parents and children are caught in confusion, tension and fear. So, let us fear vasoconstriction, insufficient blood supply to the brain and heart, resulting in the suffering of our mind, body and mind, the plight of children and parents cause has not yet begun action, spiritual emotion has been lost.
A 'stupid' word, let the children lose confidence, lose motivation
Education in the family, there is a word we often mention their parents. We hope that the child smart, stupid fear of children, do not use your time to really 'stupid' to hurt the child.
Small a few years ago, I went to Kunming speech. In the evening, I went to a tea shop, just a turn. When I walked into the store, I saw the back of the store a lot of tea table, sat a lovely girl, wearing a red dress, very beautiful so I said to the little girl:. '? are you looking at this restaurant do you tell me how much tea you money?' The little girl looked at me and shook his head. and then said: 'Here's the tea does not sell.' At that very moment, her mother came from behind me, I turned to her mother, said: 'Your daughter really talented, you look at this shop in it, she Tell me, do not sell these tea 'did not think the mother immediately erected brow, angrily pointing finger with a second child, she said:.'! You kids, stupid. '
This lens, in everyday life too common. We often relaxed, casually held out his finger, pointing sweet and innocent child, said he was 'stupid'!
Then I looked back at that cute little girl, she just brilliant smile suddenly darkened I turned to the young mother said:. 'From now on, you promised me, no matter what time, no matter where you are, you must not say to your daughter, 'You stupid'. '
The mother at first shocked, she immediately laughed: '? Says she is not confident, do not you.'
The little girl saw the two of us in a conversation, she turned and ran.
I asked the mother: 'Can you tell me, your daughter will be doing?' 'Oh, my daughter is very capable, she would wash your socks, but also help me to wipe tables and chairs, but also help me Kandian' I said. : 'Oh, you have such a talented daughter.'
Just then, a little girl came running thump thump thump of her first wind blows, because the children of strange things and strange people are interested in, she pretended to play, ears pay attention to what we say I'm the little girl said:. 'Just you Mom told me that you are particularly competent, would wash your socks, to help her mother with household chores, is it 'just a look of sullen little girl, suddenly face cleared up, her face wearing a smile:'? Really, I would do a lot of things too! '
'Then you can read it?' 'I'll ah!' 'You can read it?' 'I'll read << >> Analects.' 'Well, you can now read it to us?' The little girl thump thump Deng ran upstairs to find a << Analects >> come in her upstairs when her mother told me that this child ah, love to work, is learning well, she can learn a great effort, stupid, learn very slowly.
She was just four years old conversations, she used << Analects >> I said:?... 'Please open you to read us some << Analects >>' At this time, I found that she looked down, timid up, holding the book, but did not dare to read the face of a stranger, the face of scorching mother's eyes, her nervous, afraid, because she had never had confidence in the face of a stranger, she naturally timid.
She did not open Then I said:.. '? So good, I read a sentence, you read the sentence,' she nodded. I read a sentence, she told me to read a sentence we read together << Analects >> opening of 'learning ':'? Learning While Learning, not a pleasure to have friends from afar Is it not resentful, not have a gentleman 'read it three times in a row, she did not remember, read the five?? times, yet remember this time, her mother expression changed again and again, said:. '!! Do you think I say stupid you do not believe she is not stupid.' I look again and again hinted that she will not say When I read with her twenty times, she finally can boldly read.
The child's problem lies in where?
Why do we say that a child could easily stupid?
Because we do not have the patience for kids! We do not know the child in the process of memory, language learning is the process requires a lot of input information, and to re-enter (ie, reading) is.
We do not wait, we let the children read so strange, two thousand years ago sentences, these words for her really too strange, a four year old child, how she could read it twice to remember it? Impossible! She needs to read 10 times, 20 times, 30 times, or even 100 times, it can really be engraved in my heart that we Chinese have a word called: heart by heart, blurted out, you do not know by heart, there is no way to blurt out, not to mention a year-old child?
In the learning process, children will encounter this problem. However, we are not parents observe the child, that child remember the reasons for slow, we do not know a two years old, three years old, five years old ...... children of different ages brain development, spiritual growth, body skeletal muscle coordination process, do not give children the opportunity repeated training, but all of them are unilaterally that the child prodigy, about two or three times you should keep in mind that if you do not remember, that is 'Stupid.'
Children at school after sitting in a classroom, listening to the teacher, the children did not remember listening to it three times, parents think that children stupid. Actually, the problem is not a child stupid, but the lack of preparation before the children go to school, lack of vocabulary, reading volume insufficient, as we learn English, if only five words, you listen to the teacher tell you in English class, is completely did not understand. If you will be 500 words so much easier, if the word would be 2000, it can be more than secondary school. Children from kindergarten to elementary school, they usually live in the accumulation of vocabulary, knowledge of the amount, they have a variety of learning ability, if we can achieve the requirements of the first grade, the face of the new learning environment, they will behave calmly Happy. And let the children calm happy to learn, is the need for early childhood we patiently help and guidance.
Later, after repeated training 20 times, and this little girl can be very skilled, accurate and vivid reading, and later, her interest, she discovered: Oh, that learning is a very happy thing she told me: 'I There are many books do, I went upstairs to get. 'But that time is already 0:00 a.
When the kids get excited, to be recognized, saw his progress, she will naturally be excited, one will be excited and sleepless nights, and parents are always anxious, if the child fails, simply rudely said the child, 'stupid' in the 'stupid 'Under the shadow of the word, the child will not be curious, could not find the joy of learning ......
A virus formula, poisoned the hearts of a generation
Lift this formula, I'm afraid after 80 children have the final say. According to the survey, many young existence after 80 anxiety, fear are related to this formula, which in the end is what kind of formula do?
This formula comes from a simple reasoning, this reasoning from first start of the examination, presumably to direct one's life. Many parents often come in handy around the children used in each test, to put pressure on the child.
You did not have this exam 100 points, he never made it onto the top five,
You never made it onto the top five on when not on the San Haosheng,
When not on the San Haosheng, they pass the test key middle school,
Key test into high school, they pass the test focus on high school,
Key test into high school, it is not the major universities,
Enough to test key university, the future can not find a good job,
Find a good job to find a good target, there is no good life, there is no happiness.
This formula has become a malignant tumor of the body 80, it is deeply poisoned generation human mind.
In Beijing, a group of children tell me that they are not happy to learn which one is elected to the school a good student I said:. '? You did very well, why not happy yet.'
'I am scared.'
'What are they afraid?'
'I'm afraid this time I test well, next time? And if I get good, lost how to do?'
I said: '? That would be how do you lose it,' he said: 'I can not get lost on a good high school, middle school can not get a good high school can not get better ......' and then recite again virus formula.
Tsinghua University, Beijing Normal University's students, also repeated this formula: Today we do not have a good job, in the future there will be no good life ......
Even in foreign students, but also spread such concerns, they worry the future graduate is back to China, or is it to remain foreign it? Remaining foreign well how do we do? Back to China how do we adapt? School changed Linguistic system changed, education environment has changed, the virus did not change the formula, you see, this virus formula more terrible. Starting today, we must remove this virus formula in family education. If you do not delete, we will be completely into its control.
A little common sense logic and social experience people will find that this formula is simply illogical, it should be said that a very low IQ's reasoning can not be set for life once the exam, prestigious universities may not be able to bring good luck meteoric rise, with a lot of money does not necessarily find happiness. Why such a lack of wisdom of life derived formula is so popular it?
Because the wisdom of light of our nation, at this stage we went out of Family Education.
Because we rarely use wisdom to analyze our kids our age analysis, analysis of our situation, but often with the times in a variety of popular, fashion, the mass media is to go so hot these slogans formulas. Because the herd mentality Let us find a sense of security.
As we all know, some time ago an online networking group after 80, they proposed a slogan called 'Parents are the scourge.' The slogan that really makes us very shocked. Our nation has five thousand years of traditional virtues, filial piety culture, then such a nation, to the 21st century, yet there are a bunch of kids would say, parents are the scourge! Parents love are dedicated to all children, and why is this conclusion? I think there are too many stories behind certain, too many poignant stories, too many tragic stories, too many to make the story of two generations of common injuries .
The family would have been a warm place, let us learn the family could have been the best school education, the family could have been father and mother to pass a place of love and wisdom, but our kids did not get in here. What conclusion is that 'parents all evil! ' This way, we are shocked at the same time, this slogan has destroyed our nation an old system, so we have to rethink our education problem lie? Because we are too fear, we fear a slogan, 'Do not let children lose at the starting line, 'every day we blindly into a' stupid 'word of accusations, dissatisfied with our children, can not see hope. Also, we were attacked after a terrible virus formula, they willingly to endure, so she took to the pain of our lives.
So, how to get parents and children to come out from fear, remove viruses formula down wounding stealth weapon? This requires us wisdom lit the lamp, from the outstanding culture of the Chinese nation, from the nature of human nature, from Children grow up in the law, to regain the lost treasure of education.
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